Sadness and discouragement to comfort a compassion sponsorship story

I want to tell you a story...
A story close to my heart...
My story of sponsoring 4 year old Jairo Jean Pier Hurtado Godoy from Peru...

Not really anyone knows this story my mom only knows a little of it and how bad I wanted to sponsor Jairo, but not my feelings leading to before I sponsored him. I already sponsored Maylin, Angeli, and Hesler. I also corresponded with three of my children.

Jairo shares something with someone very special to me...
A name...

 

The name he shares is Jean ... He shares it with my grandmother that I love and miss dearly. The names many be pronounced differently due to language, but in my eyes their the same.
Granny with her kitten Cassie's brother

  My granny at thanksgiving in her north face I bought her

To start from the beginning though. My grandmother one of the most independent, hardworking, talented, and loving women I know was diagnosed with something that can not be cured and would change her life dramatically. After she one day caught the house on fire and almost burned it down (she forgot the stove was on). My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This was confirmed the same time she was put in the hospital for catching pheumonia (sorry for the spelling) and then finding out she also had infazeima (sorry for the spelling) also. After her threatening to shove the doctor out of the window or take him to the rooftop and shoot his kneecaps out, got rid of her pheumonia, and got medication for the rest she we brought her home. She did have a pistol at home, but my uncle took it while she was at the hospital so she wouldn't hurt herself or anyone. The challenges would begin not long after. The fights to get her to take medication, trouble getting nurses help while schooling and work was going on, and the phone calls. Yes the phone calls... With time my grandmother had gotten worse. She acted like a child often, we would get calls about her missing different articals of clothing walking down the street and my mom would have leave work to get her.
         My granny playing with her great grand              

Granny at home one of the baby's I bought her

 We checked on her often and couldn't really get a nurses help, but that wasn't enough she was doing worse things. Thank goodness for great neighbors... They helped if able. Something had to change though. My mother nor any of her siblings could miss work or quit their jobs to watch her. My bother was in school. I took on the role of caretaker. My uncle wanted to pay me a little to watch her, but she was my grandmother I couldn't take the money. I worked at a job and went to school at this time so the summer I started watching her I made sure to get my college classes scheduled around her even if it meant online classes. There were some of those. I would schedule them as early as possible hurry up and drive the hour or so to school, hurry though the test I had to take two to three times a semester, then hurry the hour back to be with her. With work I managed to get them to move me to their night shift at the restaurant I was working. Some nights me having to rush to work at like 3 in the afternoon to 11 or 12 at night. That left homework for when I was watching her and late nights. I made it though. We had to even move my dog to her home due to it killing my dads chickens. That was a blessing though. Come to find out she was amazing with my grandmother. She would stay under my grandmothers hand everytime she left the house and lead her back home. The neighbors told us this. Many hilarious dollar general trips, two birthdays, a senior year summer, lots of giving her what she wanted to make her happy, dancing and singing, enduring her temper, digging in the trash for thrown away things, hiding pictures, trying to get her to eat every meal, fear of losing her while in the restroom (sometimes happened), lots of baths, coaxing her into clothes (sometimes see more than I wanted too), lots of gas and milage used, and much more things including: watching a car catch on fire causing a child and man jump out of the car before our eyes then having to answer her questions later and a new decision was made.

Her at dirt cheap before we went in with her doll she had gotten at

a friend of mines store. She named him yucky yucky after her great grand.

She thought he looked like Gavin.

 

There was no other choice she needed to go and be put into the Alzheimer's ward at a local nursing home. My mother and I visited her often there and cried a lot in the change we saw still happening. She got to where she wouldn't eat, wouldn't stand or walk, and wouldn't talk.
My granny with a bear I gave her from our
vacation                                                          
 
Receiving the Christmas gift the last Christmas she was
able
 Some of the memories I hold dearest is the crochet blanket I made for her after teaching myself (She tried teaching me when I was little and wouldn't release this blanket) and the last words she said to me after she had quit talking and that was thank you and Love you when I gave her the blanket her last Christmas.

 

 

Granny wearing a jacket she made         

A doll dress she made

 

 

    Side of the bridal doll dress             

 The dress I crocheted for Maylin

 

               The blanket I made her

My mom, dad, and I realized her time was becoming very short the beginning of the week that she passed. That week on Sunday we were called being asked to come and that hospice was being called. I went to work the next day for a very short time for CPR and First Aide trading then left on my way back to the hospital 35 minutes away. We sat with her all day. Sister bothers, children, and grandchildren all came. I watched as she stared at the ceiling, helped my mom calm her when she seemed scared, watched her reach toward the ceiling with a few very low spoken words, her breath coming in slower. A breath, stop for a few seconds, breath.... This went on for tormenting hours. So much going though my head. Why? Why her? Then take her don't make her suffer. Then don't take her. Why won't you help her God? Why did you do this to my grandmother God? This isn't fair God. I remember breaking down once and feeling like a fool for crying as I ran out the door, I ran into someone it didn't register, someone grabbed for my shoulder I didn't know who. My mom followed me out and helped me. I went back in and waited. I was watching as she breathed her last counting every second between breathes. She was announced as passing April 16th at 1:14 at night  this year. My mom smelled cigarette smoke right before my grandmother passed no one else did. We wonder what passed family member met her to take her to God.
After her death, the viewing, and the funeral I wanted to do something but didn't know what. A humming bird tattoo because she loved hummingbirds. No terrified of needles... Donate to Alzheimer's. We did that if they couldn't do flowers... Something for eyesight. We donated her glasses all of them. I had a lot to think about on what to do for her preferably in the long run. I was at a loss. I couldn't even listen to the songs that we used for her or any song she listened too. I wasn't interested in music which I love. I was withdrawn  when it came to her. I was in a way depressed.
I decided to one day look at the longest waiting children with compassion. There he was waiting 311 days for a sponsor who had my grandmother's first name Jean in his. Since I have sponsored him my wall of grief has been crack and is slowly falling apart. I have piece of my granny in my beloved Jairo. His sweetness, his joy for life, his absolutely fearless questionings. I can't wait to get to know him even more every letter.

                                                                               Jairo